Day 24
So remember when I was being negative about my birthday the other day? As it turns out, it was one of the best days that I've had in a long time :)
See, I would have been satisfied with the greets of those people who really mattered to me, the people I really care for me. But God has blessed me so much that even people I've only started to get to know took the time to greet me. Ok, parang ang babaw. But sometimes, it's the small things that count more :) To be perfectly honest, there's nothing out of the ordinary that happened to me on my birthday. It was just that I got to spend the entire day with my friends - and these people never failed to remind me that I am, in fact, already 20 years old. I have a feeling that they're quite amused with the fact that I am the oldest among us 8, and that I am the first to reach 20 - meaning the first one to no longer be a 'teenager'.
And I can't exactly rebut them about it. Not because it's immature, but because I already know what they'll say if I told them they'd turn 20 too - Ok lang, mas matanda ka pa rin. Therefore, it is pointless. :)) But they were very sweet - surprising me with a birthday cake like that. I honestly didn't expect the gesture, which made me appreciate it all the more.
When I was through with all my classes, I had dinner out with my family, and it was nice - both the food and the conversation. I don't know, I guess I'm still hoping for the day that we could all make it a habit to pray before we eat to come. It certainly would have made dinner last night better. I have to pray for this.
When I got home, I just felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside when I saw all those who took the time to greet me. Again, have I mentioned how shallow I am about this? :)) It really is just the small things.
So it wasn't the kind of birthday celebration that I expected - it was, in fact, quite ordinary. But they are my memories and I was just so grateful for all those people who attempted to make 'my day' special. I'm thankful for a God who will always know the best things that would make me smile. I thank God for being the God that He is. I thank God for friends who bring so much joy and happiness into my life, for a family who cares, and for healing.
Day 25
"It's true, one day, it will be AWESOME again."
This was what my friend told me last night - because a year ago, she was in my position. And it just gives me so much hope. Because over the course of time that I've gotten to know her, I know that she's so much stronger now that she was before. Our conversation last night excited and encouraged me - and up until today I still feel this hope that I will get to the point that I'll be able to say that I feel nothing anymore, only freedom and relief.
And so today, I'm thankful for this hope that still lives in me. I'm thankful for India Arie's songs especially. I can't believe how much her songs have helped me through this period - how much of her songs practically tell the story of this time in my life, and I just found so much comfort in it.Her songs are one of the reasons why I still feel this much joy in my heart. And I'm just so thankful to God because I know that my being in this disposition right now wouldn't even be possible without Him. There really is nothing impossible for God. And so I leave you with these songs that have encouraged me so much. :)
A Beautiful Day
The Truth
Beautiful Like a Flower
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