Because we agreed that we’re not going to contact each other, I’m saying this here instead. And maybe finds its way to you.
While I’m still mad at you, I know that nobody deserves to feel like an outcast. We all make mistakes, and I’m sorry that you really took the brunt of my anger - even if it was justified. I don’t take joy in your pain, as I hope that you don’t take joy in mine.
As I’ve told you, it really will take me a while to forgive, and maybe an even longer time to trust you again. But please know that I would never wish any misfortune to settle over you. I still want you to grow - both as a person and as a Christian. You keep saying that you want to focus on God; panindigan mo. Work with that desire, given that it really is what you want, that you’re sincere about it.
Although I probably still won’t be able to face you or look you in the eye, and I’d most definitely still get hurt if you decide to rub it in my face that you like someone else now, know that I’m sincere in just wishing you the best. I’m not going to force myself to be ok, or to act like everything’s fine and dandy. In time though, I will be able to be civil with you again.
Continue to pray, pray for healing and for forgiveness - for the both of us. Alam ko naman na hindi lang ako ang nasasaktan.
I believe that I’ll be able to move past this, that God will give me the strength to forgive you in His time.
Breathe in, breathe out. One day, I’ll be able to look you in the eyes again. One day. No rush.
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