I had hoped to be productive this sembreak, but so far, I've mostly been just playing with our new golden retriever which we got the very first day that I was officially on break. I have been on a baking mood lately - I've been looking through some cupcake recipes online and have just been mustering the guts to start on it. Anyway, I'm blogging about the past few days that God has blessed me with.
Days 56-57
I, along with several other Youth Leaders from GCF, went on a prayer retreat over the weekend. I have to admit that my initial motives for wanting to go to this retreat was more for having fellowship with the other leaders than actually preparing for my encounter with God. I suppose, I just didn't expect a lot from it? It's not to say that I expected it to be terrible or horribly boring - which it neither was. I was, gratefully, proven wrong and was very much blessed by this retreat.
Admittedly, I have a poor prayer life - and I'm not just saying this. I feel bad that prayer to me, has become both an obligation and a list of things that I ask from God. This of course, is wrong. Prayer should never be about us, it should primarily be about God and glorifying His name. It's not new information. Given how I grew up in Sunday School and became very active in Church, it's something that I already know. But sometimes, head knowledge just stays precisely as that - head knowledge. We took note of the information and file it somewhere in our brains to take our for future reference, when it shouldn't be.
Glorifying God should be our topmost priority. It should be something that we constantly work for; that even when things get to be really difficult for us, we press on towards Jesus and to make His name known. Having already been saved, being secure in our redemption, we tend to be complacent and forget that we are all called to evangelize and reach out to billions of others all around the world. God is glorified when we pray for more people to be saved - prayer then, is evangelical in nature.
For this retreat, we also spent 13 hours in silence and just spent the time talking and listening to God. It was a first for me. I don't think I've ever stayed quiet for that long. It wasn't too difficult to do since it was during the night, and most of it was spend sleeping. But it was refreshing I guess, when you just immerse yourself in God's word, stay still, and let Him speak to you. It was really overwhelming for me that I ended up crying (which was a first; I don't think I've ever been driven to tears when I do my devotions).
For the longest time, I've been avoiding missions and evangelism, because I was more afraid for myself than I was concerned to glorify Him.Now though, I know that I should be getting involved myself in missions and evangelism - they are after all, commanded by God. I know that it'll be tough, that there are those who would be resistant and would flat out refuse to listen, but I will do it for my God.
Day 58
Yesterday, my family and I went to the cemetery to visit my grandparents' (on both sides) and my great grandparents' graves. It was a little different this year since it was just us. Normally, we'd be having like mini reunions with my mom's side of the family when we visit our dead relatives. This year though, some of my mom's sisters already went a few weeks before us and I couldn't help but feel dismayed about not being able to see my aunts and my cousins.
But despite that, it was still a blessing. I was able to learn more about my dad's side of the family while we were at the cemetery - years before I was even born. I learned about my gua-ma (my mom's mom) and how she was so excited about my birth that despite my being in the ICU (I don't exactly know why I was there), she had my ears pierced right away and how I was the last grandchild that she saw before she passed 11 months later.
On my dad's side of the family, I've always been jealous of how my older cousins are so close. I've been jealous of the fact that all the cousins would have sleepovers at the ancestral home, playing and wreaking havoc. I've also been jealous of the fact that I my aunts and uncles would pick my brothers up from school when they were younger. Being the youngest, I never got to experience any of those since my cousins were already older when I was born (FYI, I am the second to the last youngest cousin in our family). But even if I was sobrang naiinggit, I was just grateful that I got to hear those stories from my family.
Praise God for family time :)
Day 59
Today, I found out that Kim Kardashian is getting divorced after getting married a little over two months ago. I wasn't surprised when the news hit. I actually don't know how to react to it. I suppose I'm just sad with the way that people have little regard to the sanctity of marriage now. It's as if the words 'til death do us part mean nothing. It probably doesn't anyway. I feel as though people go through the actions of having a wedding without understanding the implications of the vows that they've exchanged with each other and in front of their friends and family.
It's like they're not even trying to make the marriage work and at the earliest signs of struggle, they give up. I don't really understand what is happening to the culture in so many countries now or what goes through the people who want to be separated from their spouses. How hard is to understand that making a commitment means that there's no backing out, that you're in that relationship for life. Unless your life is in danger, there is absolutely no reason for you to get out of your marriage.
You have troubles? Well tough, getting married did not exempt you from the problems of the world. That doesn't mean that you leave your partner behind. You stopped loving your partner? Well, marriage is not a feeling - it's a commitment. Besides, you don't leave just because of that. You find a way to woo your spouse and fall in love with them all over again. Do not be lazy when it comes to your marriage.
This whole thing just made me grateful that after some 30+ years of marriage, my parents are still together and in love like nobody's business. They may not be affectionate or showy like the other couples out there, but I know that they deeply love and care for each other. I am grateful that they have a great marriage, and one day, I hope to have one just like theirs.
It's frustrating, this news. But while there are couples out there who are getting divorced, they still exists couples who actually grew old together. I believe that God has provided for us someone who will complement our person - and someone who will be able to glorify God with. It's not the end of the world.
There is hope for love.
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