To Ma and Pa
Hi.
I know it must be weird that I'm writing to you when there's no
special holiday or celebration, but I do have a reason for this. There are two
things that I want you to know through this letter. This is the first one.
Mama, do you remember the time from almost 15 months ago that
you caught me crying? Pa, it was the same day that you asked me about my eyes,
if I slept or not. I wasn't completely honest with the both of you at that
time. I was crying and I couldn't sleep well that night because of one thing:
that was when Strong and I broke up. He wasn't just a suitor, we were
together as a couple for three months even when you told me that neither of you
approved of it. I want you to know that it wasn't an act of rebellion or that I
did it out of anger towards you. My pride led me to believe that sooner or
later, your perception of him would change. I now realize how wrong I was, and
that Ma, you were right all along.
From the very beginning, a lot of people from the Youth - people
who knew me and who knew him - have already warned me against him. And I know
that you told me to not even consider him as a prospect anymore after briefly
meeting him for the first time. I'm sorry too, that I thought you
were being judgmental, that you couldn't even give him a chance back then, but
I realize how right you both were.
I'm so sorry for entering a relationship with him even when you
both told me not to, when people from the Youth told me to be careful, when God
told me to obey the both of you. It was hard to resist, especially when we
spent a lot of time together back then. And that was what we did, we spent a
lot of time together na kami lang. I'm still a virgin, but I'm not as pure
as I was before. I'm so sorry. The reason why we broke up was, at least on my
part, I couldn't handle lying and disobeying the both of you and God anymore.
So while I was hurting the next several months after that, I knew that I did
the right thing.
I've moved on now, and I've been more vigilant in protecting my
heart - especially since I committed on working with my relationship with God
this year. So bawal ang guys ngayon.
This year's camp has been a good reminder of what I've been
through, of the mistakes that I've committed, and it also convicted me to be
honest with you about everything. Camp and another thing pushed me to be honest
with you, and it's the second thing that I want you both to know.
By God's grace, I have been asked to lead a ygroup starting on
June 10. While it's something that I wanted to do to be able to serve God more,
I didn't think that I would do it this year. So I talked to God about it, and
He just told me not to worry, that He's got everything under control. It just
seemed like this is God's way of blessing me for obeying Him and granting the
desire of my heart to serve Him. I accepted the offer, and starting on the
10th, I'll be a ygroup leader. Ma, Pa, this is a great opportunity that God
blessed me with, and I really hope that I have both of your support. This means
that I'll have to go to church earlier so I can attend the 8:30 service and
then teach at 10:30. I don't want to bother either of you, so during Sundays,
I'll commute going to Ortigas na lang.
So in part of wanting to be honest and the conviction that I had
after camp, I wanted to tell you about this because I want to be a good example
to the girls that I will be teaching and mentoring. I want to be a good witness
and live a good testimony for God. I really hope that you both understand the
foolishness that I did last year, and I'm really sorry for going behind your
backs and disobeying you both.
I love you both.
Alyssa.
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