Sometimes, I really need to start walking my talk.
Today, I found out that I've offended another person with the things that I've said. Admittedly, I am tactless and part of the problem with being tactless is not realizing that the words I let go would cause another person harm. It's a lesson learned, I guess - not to broadcast my feelings to the rest of the world. Especially if they're not edifying, I should really just learn how to stop and control myself. It's what I've been telling my other friend, but apparently, I need to it myself too.
I don't know, I guess, I'm just more expressive of the things that I feel - rather, I'm more vocal about it.
Protective or not, it's no longer my business - plus, I really don't have any right anyway. I've no position over them. Kaibigan lang ako. And I'm fine with that. I should not nor do I want to impose my will on them anymore because, reality check Alyssa, you are not God. One thing I have to prepare myself for though is the possibility, and maybe inevitability too, that if or when they do end up together, I might spend less time with my friend. And that I might lose her to the both of them - seeing as how the guy is close friends with the ex, and how ex and I can't really hang out together. I don't ever want it to reach the point where she'll feel the pressure or that the need to choose - because I am not that kind of friend.
Kung darating man sa puntong iyon, mas mabuti nang ako na iyong bibitiw.
Man, I'm really not trying or intending to sound dramatic or whatever - but I think that's how it's ending up to be. ._. Dear AP, I love you and I only want the best for you. But I think, for the sake of our friendship, I will back off from this thing that you have with him. I will only speak when you ask my opinion. For now, I will just commit to being as objective as possible about the entire matter, and keeping quiet unless spoken to about it.
Lord, thank you for this lesson that You've taught me. I know that I can be extremely opinionated, intense, and tactless. Father, I apologize for the way that I've acted and for the things that I've said. I apologize for imposing on something that is not my concern, and for putting my will above Yours. I'm sorry for this seemingly excessive pride that I have. I realize that the reason for my actions is that the issues that I have are still quite fresh. I have issues that I need to fix, and I shouldn't be poking my nose where it doesn't belong. Lord, help me to be more humble, help me to mind my own business. Lastly Lord, I pray that you will teach me to be less judgmental and give people the benefit of the doubt. All these things in Your Holy Name I pray,
Amen.
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