Day 25 + Productive Day

I don't know if I even have the words to begin to say how thankful I am for this day. And all things considered, nothing out of the ordinary even happened today. I spent the entire day being a such a nerd and it's quite surprising that that simple thing was able to brighten me up and lift my mood. 

I am grateful for productivity, for the joy that God has resurfaced in my heart, for the simple things in life, for a nice chat with a friend, and for the way that God speaks to me - for the realizations that He's given me. 

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. --Song of Songs 8:4

It's simple really: Never enter a relationship unless you're certain that you can handle it, certain that it's what God wants, and certain that the significant other is exactly the person that God wants for you. I hope to have had read this all those months ago - I don't know if it would have made much difference on me, but I would love to have known of this passage then. I've made mistakes, I have come to accept that. But I know that what matters more now is learning from them. What was the phrase... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And I really don't want to reach that point when I'd beat myself a mistake I happened to commit again. 

While having lunch with a friend earlier today, she asked me this question - a bit like role playing. And she asked me, what if he tells me he still loves me and will I please take him back. She said I had this look of tenderness before I said no. I have to admit that it is very tempting to say yes - especially since the feelings are still very much present. But. I am a rational human with free will and capable of choosing and exercising my freedom. And while my heart wants to give in, my rationale, my free will, and my God all tell me to say no should that ever happen. 

Ano ba naman ang laban ko sa Diyos?

I just want to keep on obeying and following my God forever. If I know that it's not glorifying Him, why should I go through with it? I already learned that lesson the hard way, I should think. And right now, I'm just learning to enjoy God, learning to wait upon Him and learning to grow in a closer relationship with my God. That should always, always be my priority.

I looked for the one my heart loves, I looked for him but did not find him. -- Song of Songs 3:1

We shouldn't be the ones chasing after love, we shouldn't even be looking for it. It will come - that is certain. It's all just a matter of how prepared we are when that person comes. And rest assured, everything that happens in our lives right now are purposed for something, each experience is a preparation for something greater. 

You have to admit, it's kind of exciting when God plans your life. :)