Barney Stinson

I forget which season and which episode it was, but I distinctly remember it being the one where Robin and Barney had just broken up, and Barney was telling everyone all the other 'cons' that he's done. The one that I most remember now is: "He's not coming.". In this act, he goes to each girl telling them that line and hoping that the line would apply to one of them and that they would be fragile enough for him to prey on. 

Now, I don't imagine someone with a hidden agenda would come up to me - should it ever happen that I'm alone and looking especially sad and vulnerable - and tell that exact line to my face. I do however need to say it to myself repeatedly, chant it like a mantra until I accept it. It's not just 'he's not coming', but also 'he's not going to call' and 'he's not going to text'. I have to surrender. I can't keep holding onto something that wasn't supposed to be there. Time's up. Game over. Move on already and let God handle the rest.

Dear self, please stop being such a stubborn pwet. Do you seriously think that things will be better? That things will get better? You may hope that it would, but it doesn't mean that it will. Just stop. Stop yourself from hoping, stop yourself from thinking of what could have been. Just stop. Time to face the music - nothing's going to change. Your life is not a movie; your parents will probably still not want him for you, and you can't force God to change His decision for you because He's God. So stop, stop before you hurt yourself further. The sooner you accept things as they are, the better. 

Lord, please just let me have a heart that longs to please You. Help me heal my wounds, Lord and may You be the one to bring comfort and strength to me. Help me to put my trust in You, to trust that everything will be ok, that this will pass. Help me Lord to accept what you want for me, help me to find the joy in obeying You. I can't do things on my own Lord. In my weakness, in my brokenness, may Your light shine through.

Amen.