4 Loaded Words

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain"

-Philippians 1:21 (NIV)

They say that Philippians is one of the most joyous book in the Bible, and I guess anyone would think that too seeing the word 'rejoice' several times throughout the entire book. For me though, I'm not sure if I completely believe it. I guess I'm just skeptical of the fact that someone can find joy in being locked up in jail, chained and all. I mean no matter how close a person's relationship with God is, they're still human and are still susceptible to feeling anxiety and fear. Of course I have no real way of finding out what Paul truly felt during his time in prison, but I have a feeling that he was putting up a brave front for Timothy and the Philippians. Or I could be totally wrong and he was, in fact, quite happy during the time of his captivity. 

"Yes, and I will continue to rejoice..." -Phil. 1:18

"For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him." -Phil. 1:29

Like many, I've also asked myself why Paul would be joyful at such a time. Yes, I know it's part of the package when we agreed to be like Christ; that we'd all be persecuted and hated on by many just like him. But unlike Christ, we hurt and we have breakdowns, not saying that Christ wasn't human - because he became man - only that he had better control of his feelings. Or simply that he knew better that to think or act on his emotions. I suppose what Paul is showing us here is not just his great determination to be like his savior but a clear manifestation of his love for Christ. I kind of imagine him to be like: "Lord, I really hate it here and my situation really sucks but because I love you, I'm going to suck it up and make the most of this situation." That and he was saying how a lot of people are spreading the gospel with so many different motives as a reaction to his imprisonment. Seriously, talk about a flipping silver lining on a dark cloud. 

There are only so few people who can think of the brighter side of things during terrible predicaments and even fewer who can still think of the furtherance of God's kingdom during a challenge like this. I'm not even going to pretend that I'm one of those few. I'm not. I've been blessed enough to not have that many drastic experiences in my life. But even during the times that I consider to be pretty challenging, I know I'm not the most optimistic person out there, but I do have hope that things would be better. I suppose I've mostly rested on the assurance that my God is in control. 

I suppose, and hope, that that is what was going through Paul's mind at the time. That yes, it is an incredibly difficult time for him, but he's okay because God has got him covered. 

Not only that, Paul also doesn't fail to remind us to keep living by example; that since we've all accepted Christ to be our Lord and Savior, it is then a natural reaction to be like him. I mean come on, the man's in jail writing a letter to his disciple and he still manages to stay positive about a lot of things. THAT is living by example - especially for all of us, whether Christian or not, a student or not. One mistake or one lousy day doesn't mean it is the end of the world. Whether or not that keeps on happening, God will still love you. 

So then what does verse 21 mean? I suppose that means that if we truly want to be like our savior then nothing should hold us back or keep us from doing so. You don't follow Christ because there are perks or because you're afraid of eternal damnation. You follow him because you believe deep within your heart that without him, you will be lost forever; that nothing makes sense if he's not there to guide you and that it is so easy to just keep on sinning. 

We follow Christ because we believe in him and because we want to be like him. And we want to be like him because we are so deeply in love with him. 

Dear Lord, please help this child of yours to grow more deeply in love with you. Father, please guide me onto the path that you have laid out for me. May I follow that path with an open mind and open heart and with complete and utter obedience to your word. Grant me that happiness only you can give each time I spend time with you, Lord. 

In Christ's name,

Amen.

Oy, heavy heavy stuff

A friend and I agreed that we'd do devotions on the Book of Malachi together. Although he already warned me how heavy it was going to be, I wasn't quite prepared for the messages it contains. Already in chapter 1, God uses the word hate and says it again in chapter 2. I don't know, I guess it came as a shock for me as I've only ever known God to be loving, kind, faithful, merciful, forgiving and many more good attributes. I know he hates sin and evil, but I never quite thought that He'd hate Esau.

So I don't know the entire story. But based on what I know, Jacob was the one who wronged Esau. He was the one who stole Esau's inheritance then ran away from home when he found out that he has an extremely pissed older brother out to get him.I don't know. Maybe Lance Hahn is right and that we're too immature to fully understand God's reasons for doing things or for hating them. 

Man, I don't really know what to think or how exactly I feel about this. It's a bit a lot to take in, and I suppose it's shows just how much I still don't know about God. And my greatest fear right now is to be turned off by God. I mean I know the Israelites have done plenty of nasty, selfish and inconsiderate things. But right now, it just seems to me that God's a little... I don't even want to say it. I feel like I should scrub my brain clean just thinking about it and going there. 

Ugh. I wish God and I would just talk face to face.. Then again, maybe not so soon, I'd still like to do some things with my life. ahe. But I do want to talk to Him. Well, I guess maybe I should go and do it. :)

God bless everyone. :)

Something to Chew On.

So you know how some people say that it's really boring to read the Bible? Well... I'm betting some of those people haven't read the Old Testament. Though I have friends who say that the Old Testament isn't encouraging to read - and most of the time it's not - I have to admit that it's pretty interesting. 

See, I've already said how I was reading Joshua right, and a couple of days ago, I've started on Judges. I've only started and I'm not feeling any remote encouragement from it at all. But it's like reading the script of a big-budget action film - like Saving Private Ryan, the first 15 minutes of the movie at least. Ok, so far it hasn't been that gory yet. Just that the first 4 chapters include someone getting hammered on the head with a tent peg or someone doing the sepuku on another person. I don't know. I mean I knew the Old Testament included plenty of wars, I just never thought that there would be actual violence, explicit violence. Eh. I even thought maybe the Bible needed like a disclaimer or a warning or something. :|

I was reading Judges chapter 4 and it had the header Deborah on top. She's kind of like the first female Justice in the Bible. She was one of the judges God gave to the Israelites when they were misbehaving, kind of like a babysitter to spoiled kids. I don't exactly know what God is telling me through this passage. I suppose in a way it's as though He's giving me examples of women who can lead, women of faith and women who are driven and with goals. I mean she's not mentioned a lot in this chapter, even though it is her name as a header, but she was the one that delivered Israel from more misdemeanor, or stalled it at least. 

I don't know. But I'm going to go ahead and take it as God telling me that I can do anything I set my mind to, and with His help, I can accomplish them. God has been faithful to me this past semester, and I know He will be again not just for the next semester but forever. 

Next stop, Dean's List. 

My Girlfriends :)

All the girls at Gio's 18th. :)
"Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel" Proverbs 27:9 (NIV)

Hi friends :) We so pretty :") I love you guys! I really had so much fun that night. OP. Wala ng kokontra. =)) You guys are the best. I really am so blessed to have met you guys. Grabe lang talaga ang pagkakaibigan natin. Ibang klase. :))

Love you girls! :)

You are Faithful

"Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled" 

Joshua 21:45 (NIV)

The past couple of days, the country has been hit by a super typhoon called Juan and it just left today. Plenty of families and provinces have been devastated. Although for most of us here in Manila, the only thing Juan ruined for us is our plans and it's really not a big deal. But for the people who were directly hit by the typhoon, it cost them their homes, their livelihoods and some their lives.

Having typhoon's is nothing new for our country. But somehow, it always hits us hard when a super typhoon comes. I guess it shows how despite being in the typhoon belt since forever, the country's still not prepared for most of the calamities that come its way.

I don't want to say I'm not troubled by this because those who are living in the city are not directly affected. But it's because I know that God will pull everyone in Isabela, Pangasinan, Benguet, etc though. He has never failed us and the passage is just really timely as an encouragement for everyone. I know that God won't leave and forget about us. I just wish that people won't forget about it just because they're experiencing tough times now.

Encouragement from God

"...Then they are to admit him into their city and give him a place to live with them. If the avenger of blood pursues him, they must not surrender the one accused, because he killed his neighbor unintentionally and without malice aforethought." Joshua 20:4-5 (NIV)

See, I've been reading the book of Joshua and around a month ago I was reading how the Israelites took over and conquered a lot of cities. I mean, a LOT of cities and killed even more people. And I remember feeling uncomfortable reading it and asking God why it was necessary to have all those people killed. I asked my discipler, Ate Rhods, about this and she told me to just keep on reading the book of Joshua because she's sure that one of the later chapters will help me understand my question. She also told me to remember that no matter what happens God is a holy God.

Although God has somehow answered my question as to why He has to eliminate a lot of people, a lot of innocent people too, He has further answered me through this chapter. 

I was reminded of just how many  the Israelites were. I mean, there were 12  tribes. Of course God would have to get the lands of other people for them. Each tribe has plenty of families, and each of that family has a family of its own and so forth. I kind of understood that. But then in chapter 20, the lands were also used to keep refugees safe. Those who committed crimes unintentionally would be taken in in those nations until those who are seeking vengeance would leave or until the high priest who took them in at that time would pass on. 

And I was just reminded that though God is a holy God, He is also a merciful God. Yes we are sinners, there's no doubt about that. But here's what He's telling us - what He's telling me: I know you've done plenty of wrong things in your life, but you can turn to Me. You don't have to go through this alone. It's just so encouraging for me since I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I feel guilty about it. This just assured me that God is not only my Lord, He is also my Heavenly Father and He will do everything to protect me because He loves me and wants only the best for me.

I just wanted to share this with everyone out there who feel like their mistakes are unforgivable. There's hope. There is a God. 

Impatient Me

October 17, can you not come any faster? Please. I'm so tired, I don't know if I could handle anymore puyatan nights. My eyes are already small as it is. If I lack anymore sleep, I'm afraid I'll be squinting forever. ,_,

October 25 and 26 please come soon too. I need a break. I need to rejuvenate myself both physically and spiritually.

The Lord replied, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14 (NIV)